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Beagle April Fools Day announcement - IKEA development set for Batemans Bay


In a joint announcement today, the head of IKEA Australian Operations, and the Eurabadolla Mayor have released agreed forward plans for the future of the Batemans Bay bowling club site.

IKEA, the Swedish-founded Dutch based multinational furniture and homeware group had earlier announced its intentions to begin a staged retail entry into Australian regional areas, commencing with Batemans Bay, NSW.

At a ceremony, to be held this afternoon on the grounds of the old bowling club site, the Mayor will present IKEA with the keys to the city. IKEA, in turn, will present the Mayor with a ceremonial oversized Allen Key.

It is understood that the joint agreement will also include the separate development of an indoor aquatic pool (to be named the IKEA Indoor Aquatic Centre) and a performing arts complex (to be named the IKEA Performing Arts Centre). Additional improvements will follow to upgrade the Mackay Park rugby league grounds (to be renamed the IKEA Sports Centre).

A condition of this development, planned to commence as early as 2020, will be the abandonment of the planned new Clyde River Bridge in favour of a 4-lane tunnel that will have its southern entry and exit at the Beach Road intersection, allowing for a single expanded co-joined IKEA and Village Centre complex. Coles, Kmart and Aldi will be re-sited to Corrigans Reserve, while many of the individual Village retailers will be relocated, with compensation, elsewhere to the many vacant shops in the CBD.

Public consultation and community group feedback will commence immediately though will be ignored as is standard council procedure. IKEA construction specialists intend to assemble an information booth as soon as the flat-pack materials arrive from Sydney.

The Mayor told The Beagle she firmly believes, in moving forward, that an IKEA presence in the Shire will improve not only furniture and homeware retailing options, but also indoor navigation skills and furniture assembly techniques.

For further information contact Ms. April Dummkopf (04012018) at Eurabadolla Shire Council


Full credit to Kim Odgers for this April Fool's Day article that also attracted much attention and mirth on the Beagle Facebook page

#Opinion

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