News - just in from PyeoneChang

News - just in from PyeoneChang It is reported that the entire North Korean winter Olympic team, together with officials and the 230-strong cheer squad, have defected to Australia and requested asylum. Peter Dutton, Minister for Immigration and Border Protection, has tweeted that the application will be processed with compassion and the utmost haste. Athletes will be temporarily housed at Manus Island until transferred to a sympathetic country for resettlement. The government of North Korea has already indicated a willingness to resettle the entire group in an unnamed but secure facility in the far north of that country. Minister Dutton expects that processing will be completed well inside 10-years and that, if the athletes wished to continue their training, an extensive sand dune area will be cleared on the west side of the island. Earlier, it had been reported that the combined North and South 2-man luge team could not reach agreement regarding who should lie on top of the other. It is not known if this incident led to the asylum request. Meanwhile, closer to home, Johnny Depp’s dogs, Boo and Pistol, are remaining tight-lipped regarding reports that they were pinched on their bottoms by Barnaby Joyce while in detention in Australia. Barnaby has denied the allegation, adding that even if he had done so he was not in a partnership with them at the time. Editor: No... this isn't real news so don't write in saying that you thought it was all real and begin screaming out names like "low life mongrel" about Dutton because it is a random spoof